Sunday, February 08, 2004

Blogger Idol Week 4...Oops!

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Oops brings up a lot of things for me. In no particular order:

1. Oops! My mom and dad had sex before marriage and I was created and OOPS! I am a HUGE mistake. Had it been post Roe v. Wade, I proabbly wouldn't be sitting here blogging!

2. Oops! I am six and accidentally dropped my mom's gas credit card between the doors...that got me beat pretty good...in public no less!

3. Oops! I am four and just learned the word "boring," NOT the definition. I used it when my mom asked me how I enjoyed out beach trip. I got beat with a brush. Darn, guess I should have known what the word meant at that age.

4. Oops! I went outside to take games back to the Del's van. He molests me on the way back into the house. Oops! Shouldn't have trusted a family friend!

5. Oops! My mom tried to kill herself stating one reason was that she expected too much from me. I'm not perfect enough for her to live!

6. Oops! I tried to help a friend and she took my advice. On the way to the appointment she changed on said advice...she was almost killed in a car accident. She is now a paraplegic.

7. Oops! I went IP once for my eating disorder and failed...

8. Oops! I went IP again for my ED and failed again!

9. Oops! I try my best in my job and yet the SP is having troubly justifying my position.

10. Oops! I keep breathing!

I feel like I am one big Oops! I feel like I have a sign on me someplace that says, "Here comes one big OOPS!" I feel like I can never get away from being and/or causing an Oops!

It seems as if I go through each day trying not to cause a huge oops! But, there is so often...so very, very often that I feel like I will never NOT be an OOPS and wish that I didn't exist. Being an OOPS is very hard to deal with on a daily basis and I am tired of being an Oops...I just want it to stop!







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