Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Back to a Supplement...

Five years ago I was anti-eating what was prepared for me. Actually, for a good 18 months I was anti-eating much of anything. When I went to Remuda LIFE the last time I was introduced to the chocolate goodness of Boost Pudding because I ate it...a LOT during my 60 days there. Not so much the last 3-4 weeks, but at the beginning I was eating it because I wasn't big on eating actual food. Then there was the time I had to have it because I wouldn't eat TWO Oreos. Ummm...I should have just had the Oreos because the pudding gave me more calories!

Anyway, after coming home I had a patch (one of several in the last five years) where I needed it again because I didn't want to eat real food. That passes fairly quickly and I actually wasted quite a few of them.

As I said, I have made huge strides stopping the free fall/hole I had dug for myself earlier this year. I am eating a fairly wide range of food again and have the go ahead to hit the gym after VBS with some time restrictions (what do you mean 2hoirs of cardio per workout isn't normal???) so I don't go off the deep end with it (again).

After two days on the new job I realized something else. My 1/2 hour meal break (if I work over 6 hours) is going to be a JOKE because there are 10 million things to do and it has to be done...NOW. For the most part I really do thrive with stuff like that. Friday I LOVED running around with Pam like a chicken with my head cut off to get ready for Strikeforce. The 15 minute break we took seemed like a total waste of time when I could be DOING something! But, after having just a piece of pizza when I saw Toni at noon, I realized that's not going to cut it anymore. I think it could...once I fall back into major "restricto-mode," but do I want to do that? Of course part of me does want to do that. Once I hit starvation high mode I could work all day and be fine...until I crash and burn.

After thinking about it and knowing what I need to do, I ordered a case of Boost Pudding. I have access to a fridge at work and it will be easy to put a 4 cans in the fridge and consume one in 15 minutes. Part of me feels like depending on Boost is a huge step backward and I should come up with real food I can inhale in 15 minutes. That's part of the problem. I don't want to inhale food in 15 minutes. I stopped trying to do that pretty early on when I started ushering. It's too difficult and I end up feeling sick. Toni agrees. We'll talk about more options when I see her on the 11th. At least it's 200+ calories that are nutritionally balanced.

In my session with Rob yesterday he brough up the "having enough fuel" thing and I hadn't told any of this. In fact, we haven't talked about food since I got back from vacation in May. That got me thinking about all of this as well.

Today before I head over there I may stop for some Ensure or Boost liquid until the shipment comes in late this week/early next week. I am there 3 days this week. Today, Wednesday and for the SaberCats game on Saturday. I really don't want to blow this opportunity and for now I am fairly willing to do what I need to do to prevent another "Bon Jovi Incident" at work!

1 comment:

MB said...

proud of you for recognizing this and taking steps to deal...you go girl!