Friday, September 01, 2006

Razor Wire

The session before I went to Big Sur Rob asked me to really think about where I was at, what's going on inside, etc. I didn't ignore it...I just didn't share when I got back. As I thought about it...what came to mind is that I feel like there is a huge ball of razor wire in the center of my being and that I am not sure what it worse...having it there or trying to untangle it becomes each barb makes breathing hurt.

Food hasn't been going so well and went into yesterday only having had some nachos (and not finishing the order) about 6:00 the night before at the American Idols Live tour(which was awesome). I know better...but I have zippo interest in food right now.

Anyway, when I come in with nothing in my body it isn't good and the session was really rocky and he began his lecture. At the end he said he knew I had something to say so he was going to give me the time to say it. I did. Then came the part that has kept me from sharing it the past two weeks...the very next thought that goes through my head when I think about telling him all this is that he's not going to believe me. By this time I'm crying and I told him that thought is totally unfounded...he has NEVER given me reason to think he doesn't believe me.

So, I gave us a new starting point and I dread it.

On a positive grandpa and I are going to the 49ers game tonight!

1 comment:

Friar Tuck said...

Pro football! Lucky!