Thursday, January 04, 2007

I'm Baaack!

Where have I been? It’s been a busy month at the HP. Let me break it down:

HP: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! I am so glad I decided to apply and am so glad I was hired! There were a ton of events in December and I worked every single one. Dancing with the Stars was better than I thought and I met some neat guests during the event. I started working the info booths which I also like. Granted, I am not inside, but it gives me a chance to interact more with guests.

Get Away: I not only house sat until the 21st, but I also got to house sit from the 23rd until the 30th. That was a total answer to prayer. One night at home and I was ready to throw everything away to deal with it. UGH! How does she function? Seriously. I have no idea. I just made brownies with “special dark” cocoa. She comes out to look at them and calls them n***** brownies. I am so serious!

“Everything:” After I hit my respective two year marks I have to think about how long it has been time wise. As much as I obsessed getting to the 24 month marks, it’s kind of funny that I have to stop and count. Other than the few days I was at home pre-second house sitting gig, I haven’t had an urge to cut. Food just absolutely baffles me. I do eat. Both house sitting jobs I bought Chinese food and it lasted a good 4 days. I tried to eat at work most nights and learned we have really good chili and baked potatoes. Not from an emotional standpoint, but from a purely food aspect I really want to get rid of everything I put in my mouth and yet I am trying to get in my eating “episodes.” OK…today was the first day I made a true effort…but I did it.

I have missed Rob. I see him today and it will have been TWO weeks. I think I called him once just to kind of check in…but I’ve been OK. A couple of months ago he was really frustrated and I mean REALLY frustrated and he told me he couldn’t pray for me anymore. He also told me he didn’t care what saying the words, “take a break” made me feel (OK…probably not quite like that…but close to it). This was right after Amy died and the timing was really bad. I decided to email him about it after our last session and I am so hoping he forgot.

Ministry, Children’s: It’s going well. I am looking forward to VBS (and we are over 6 months away), camp and working with the Jr. High kids that have stepped up as leaders. I am starting a more formal training process with them this month. I used some of my supply budget (it was use it or lose it) to pay for my PDCM registration and I can’t wait for April…even if I am going to miss some of the NHL playoffs!

Ministry, Junior High: I am so at the end of my rope. I have for sure tied a knot and am holding on. I really don’t mind being “just” a volunteer again…I have really enjoyed it…to a point. The first thing (recently) that happened was I didn’t get invited to the youth Christmas Party. Not only that…but she didn’t ask why I wasn’t there. Then when I received her Xmas card it wasn’t personal at all…she just slipped her business card inside. Finally, I was planning to go to Winter Camp and told her I was planning to go. I wasn’t included. She didn’t realize my “I can go” email meant I can go. So, I told her that this won’t be the last event, that I think it is great parents stepped up (which is true…I think it is FANTASTIC) and I’ll stay behind. To make it up to me I get to be “game girl” on Sunday and take pictures of all the Jr. Highers since she hasn’t taken any up until now…just of high school. I really don’t know how much longer I can deal with this.

Family: Mom still hasn’t found a job. She hasn’t even looked. She complains about having no $$ and throws around selling the house (which would not sell at all the way it is now) and yet doesn’t do anything to even try and solve the problem. My grandmother pretty much needs a cane at all times now and my grandpa sees a cardiologist at the end of the month. I don’t see that as a good thing. It’s pretty scary. I need out but really don’t feel as if God is telling me to go.

Holidays: Pretty low on the drama meter. There was something small and I don’t remember what. Dinner out was a bust. I need to write them a letter. I got the SJ Sharks watch I wanted and a bunch of movie ticket gift certificates! Woo Hoo! NYE was uneventful. My grandfather cooked and it was awesome! We came home and just watched TV. I always have mixed feelings about NYE. NYE 1999 (the fake millennium…good ‘ol Y2K) was a night I would rather forget. But I have to remember that I was really sick then and that I am not quite that person anymore.

So, that’s where I have been and I will try and be better for now on!

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