Jars of Clay

Today I am taking a me day because I know if I went into work then I would get nothing done because my mind is all over the place about today.

One thought occured to me. OTHER than God, which is a given, the most consistent thing in my life the last seven years has been my love for Jars of Clay. Go ahead and laugh...but it's true. I mean it has been LONGER than seven years...but when it comes to Marc, Greg and Rob...all three are ties to Jars' music in my mind for one reason or another. Kind of odd...but it's really funny. I heard a song from the CD "If I Left the Zoo" and that reminded me of Marc. Not the song...but there is a song from that CD.

Greg more because he had to hear me babble on about them when I saw them in concert about a zillion times. They didn't have a CD come out when I saw him.

Rob gets the bulk of my Jars' talk. I buy a CD, download onto iTunes and loan it to him. I think I have done that with every CD in the last 4 years. So dorky...but I have given him an appreciation for them!

I really wanted to take today and reflect on my last session with Marc and what I feel about it. But, that hasn't happened. In fact, I have done anything I could to not think about the emotions of it all. It stunk, the way it all happened was unfair (in my opinion) and there would be a lot I would do over. The last few years I have been able to sit back and be thankful for the time we had, for everything he did (right or wrong) and for setting me on this journey. Not this year. I mean I can still do all that...but I also feel like my heart is being ripped out of my body yet again.

That's the one thing I told (well...wrote to him) him about 2 months after he told me he would be leaving CIFT. I wrote it was like I was having heart surgery and he gets called away. Someone else CAN finish the job, but that person hasn't been there since the beginning and they weren't the one holding my heart in their hand. Sappy...but at the time I thought it was brilliant. That's what I get for thinking!