Today I got Rob a cute Pooh Bear card for him to open on Saturday. He didn't want to wait and I think was alarmed I was asking him to wait...but it's okay...Saturday is the 22nd and marks one year and I am goofy that way and didn't want him to read the thank you card early. I told him yet again (and I think he doesn't always really understand I mean things I say) that he treats me way to nice and I don't deserve it. He told me, "This is where the 'Voice of Truth' comes in...you deserve it and so much more." But, I think we will revisit this statement when he gets back.

I always feel safe in his hugs...but today I felt especially loved at the end. He just held me and tousled my hair and then hugged me again and let me rest there.

I'm trying so hard to hold on...if I had insurance, I would go someplace safe...but I don't so I cling to my promise to him and try to push the dark thoughts aside.