Sunday, November 06, 2005

Friday I absolutely did NOT want to go to small group. I wanted to drop off dessert and then go back home. I didn't do that. I stayed. Nothing earth shattering happened, but I do love my small group and am really glad I stayed. It was much better than sitting at home in somewhat of a daze.

I am still not doing great. The "urgent" urge is fading along with my appetite, but I am doing what I can to keep myself from sinking. I ate because it had been almost 20 hours and thought it would be a good idea. Did I enjoy my sandwich? Nope. But, not eating will make things worse and I know that. So, for all you DBT fans out there...I made a mental list of pros and cons, tossed in a little opposite to emotion and ate my lunch.

I decided not to go home between lunch and youth group. So, I am up here in my office getting some stuff done I should have done Friday. Quite honestly, the end of last week was one of those people are lucky I showed up period because all I wanted to do was either crawl into a ball and sleep or sit up here and not make any effort at all. Toni was sick and that was a HUGE bummer. Normally, I am so okay when life gets in the way of seeing Toni and/or Rob or they need to make a change. After Thursday session with Rob...I REALLY needed Toni. She was sick. Sigh... I rarely cry...but I was in tears Friday when she called me. I really needed her. The upside, was I was as vulnerable as I could be with my small group and that was a huge blessing. It's hard to walk the line between me being in the small group and being who I am at church and I really think when I am there, the people that have kids in my program ignore that part. Maybe not 100%...but it does become a non-issue.

I am looking forward to Jr. High tonight. While I really don't like my SP's philosophy that Youth Group should be all fun and games...I figure if I stick it out now...when they hire the new Youth Director, the philsophy will be different and we can actually dig deep.

Today our 4th graders received their Bibles. For one I know it was no big deal...she got one from Kids Club...but for "V," I think it meant a lot. Her parents don't come to church, they allow her to come but they don't allow her to do the "extra stuff." The donate doughnuts for Coffee n' Conversation yet do not allow "V" to participate in Operation Christmas Child. So, we take what we can get. Somehow I am getting her to camp this spring!

1 comment:

Friar Tuck said...

Thanks for stopping by.

Has been fun to read about your life.

Where are ya at?