Another day...but a beautiful CA one at that!

I am really glad I finally got to one of Ben's games! They lost, but really came on strong at the end. After, it was off to Lindsay's play. Oh my gosh! Lindsay was beautiful and her character was the "anti-Lindsay." I may not have the "right," but I was so proud of her! I tried to give her mom the money for ticket and Dianr wouldn't take it...they wanted to buy my ticket. I so don't deserve this.

Next week is full of the kids' sports events and Tori's play. I am really looking forward to all of it. VCHS JV Volleyball rarely has more than parents at their games so I want to be there to support him and the school. Okay...the coach is pretty cute...but I bet a good 10 years younger than me... ;)

Day 2 of the No Food punishment for the pizza. I hated myself so much when I got up this morning and the scale dropped a whopping 1/2 pound. Made my resolve even stronger...plus ED is yelling at me so loud right now about it. But, I HAVE to have milk with one of my meds or I get so sick and with no food in my body since pizza and salad on Friday...I have to have it or else it could be bad.

I'll save anyone reading what the "voice" is saying, though I need to write it down for Toni. I hate doing it...not because I don't want her to know (except then "it" demands more from me for being all talky girl and sharing all that stuff...huge No-No), but because it...I dunno...even I will admit that if I were a parent and changed the words a bit I would get hauled in for verbal abuse of my child.

Sometimes, besides the whole "disappearing act" part of wanting to die, I think it is because I am living in this place where I KNOW what God says about us, I KNOW how He feels about us, I KNOW all this "stuff," and I find the "fact" I cannot see that for ME right now unbearable and it makes me a HUGE hypocrite. But, maybe that is what makes me a good youth worker. If I struggle with that than I am going to make sure "my kids" know the truth and will never doubt (okay..never say never...but you get the drift) how special they are to the God who created them. And, I try to show them in tangible ways like going to the plays and sports events. I mean....I WANT to be there...great perk of the job...but I also hope that by me being there and see how much they mean to me...I can turn that around and let them see how much they mean to God.

Anyway, I need to find the tape for the Crop Walk that has disappeared off my desk and get that set up, make sure all my rooms are ready for this morning and I'm off and running...