Sunday, October 17, 2004

Have I Mentioned I Love Rob??

I'd love him more if he gave me a price break...but the man has to make a living! :)

Seriously though, Friday all day was bad, bad, bad. My mom and her constant negativity just finally got to me and I left the house in tears to goto the store. I called Rob from the store and told him I was notdoing well, the ED voice would NOT shut up and I couldn't take much more. He called me back (once while I was still gone) and I went in for an extra session at 6.

It's not even that he said was a ton of help. Some of it is confusing. However, in those moments, what I really needed was just to be in the ONLY real safe place in my life, be able to snuggle with Frederick and just listen to him talk me down. What was said was good stuff...but paled in comparison to feeling safe for that hour.

One thing that he said on Monday and I talked about both Thursday and Friday is that therapy has been so inconsistent since I really started this journey five years ago (and have have the ED for almost 15 years now). There was Marc...he left...I saw Linda until I went to Remuda and thereI had Lauren and then Kelvey Ann at LIFE. I came home and went back to Linda...ick! Tried someone else...she didn't work and then there was Greg. He was great. Then I moved to Indiana and the was Dave the Terrible followed by my move back here and David the Worse. Then there was Rob, a 60 day trip back to Remuda with Betsy AND Darcy and back to Rob.

As he put brain must be in knots trying to figure it all out. What I am trying to do is take the good (Marc, Lauren, Greg and Rob) and filter out that which was harmful. I think a GOOD thing is I no longer feel guilty for saying, "Greg said that" or "Lauren and I talked about that as well." Rob has never had a problem with was all me...but I now realizeit helps him see what does work.

So, while I am still on edge...he calmed me down a little, was late going home (thank you Mrs. Rob) and gave me good stuff to ponder this weekend.

I also LOVED being there in the evening. His shades were totally drawn, soft light (he never uses the overheads) and his little desk waterfall thingie was going. It helped relax me a lot. I like his office in the fall/winter! Seems a bit more cozy!

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