I fully support the fact that therapists and dietitians need and deserve ample time off. However...why does it have to be during one of the most difficult times of the year??
Actually, for Toni I wouldn't see her next week anyway because I just saw her today and I see her every other week. However, since January 2nd is a holiday it will be a full two weeks before seeing Rob. I know I'll be fine, I know I don't absolutely have to see him...but two weeks feels like two years right now. But, I think it is food related.
Food continues to stink. My energy level is okay, I can function...but there are some physical signs that I know signal some problems. I've had some leg cramping (on a regular basis...not just once in a blue moon), dizziness and limbs falling asleep and Toni is afraid there could be some slight electrolyte imbalances. I maintain that since I have been purge free for 15 months that cannot be the case. Anyway, she nixed my plans to go back to the gym next week because she's afraid of what could happen with my heart and I need to get my calories up. I hate knowing what I'm doing and wanting to just eat...but I am finding it so hard.
Earlier I asked my mom what we were having for dinner and she said we could just eat bread (we ordered bread from Boudin Bakery for my Aunt & Uncle on her side and they sent the order to us...they will now send the order to them...no charge since they messed up)since we have two big meals coming up this weekend. I am making pork tenderloin with mashed potatoes and broccoli tomorrow and then we are getting a Honeybaked Ham and I am making a couple side dishes for Christmas. She still does not get it. She is also the one on me because I am NOT eating the junk food we have around the house from my baking/candy making.
I had to pick up my PCOS meds and decided that I had to eat something...yesterday was a Jr. Popcorn at the movies. So, tears streaming down my face I went to Whole Foods and picked some stuff up. Then she tells me, "I wouldn't spend that much money on food." I am thinking if I didn't it wouldn't matter if I wanted to eat or not because if I didn't buy food...we would live on Coke and bagels. So, I ate and my mood has picked up a little bit. Gee...that should clue me in! I know that I know this...but how do you eat when you have NO interest in food at all?
Actually, for Toni I wouldn't see her next week anyway because I just saw her today and I see her every other week. However, since January 2nd is a holiday it will be a full two weeks before seeing Rob. I know I'll be fine, I know I don't absolutely have to see him...but two weeks feels like two years right now. But, I think it is food related.
Food continues to stink. My energy level is okay, I can function...but there are some physical signs that I know signal some problems. I've had some leg cramping (on a regular basis...not just once in a blue moon), dizziness and limbs falling asleep and Toni is afraid there could be some slight electrolyte imbalances. I maintain that since I have been purge free for 15 months that cannot be the case. Anyway, she nixed my plans to go back to the gym next week because she's afraid of what could happen with my heart and I need to get my calories up. I hate knowing what I'm doing and wanting to just eat...but I am finding it so hard.
Earlier I asked my mom what we were having for dinner and she said we could just eat bread (we ordered bread from Boudin Bakery for my Aunt & Uncle on her side and they sent the order to us...they will now send the order to them...no charge since they messed up)since we have two big meals coming up this weekend. I am making pork tenderloin with mashed potatoes and broccoli tomorrow and then we are getting a Honeybaked Ham and I am making a couple side dishes for Christmas. She still does not get it. She is also the one on me because I am NOT eating the junk food we have around the house from my baking/candy making.
I had to pick up my PCOS meds and decided that I had to eat something...yesterday was a Jr. Popcorn at the movies. So, tears streaming down my face I went to Whole Foods and picked some stuff up. Then she tells me, "I wouldn't spend that much money on food." I am thinking if I didn't it wouldn't matter if I wanted to eat or not because if I didn't buy food...we would live on Coke and bagels. So, I ate and my mood has picked up a little bit. Gee...that should clue me in! I know that I know this...but how do you eat when you have NO interest in food at all?
1 comment:
I hope you take care of yourself. you deserve the best. I have fought with overeating all my life, and i have never quite been able to understand how it is that sometimes i can control it and sometimes I can't.
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