Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Perspective...

I keep going over yesterday's session in my head as well as my upcoming meeting with my SP. As I said last night, I DO get this whole perspective thing and the emails and comments here I have received drive me to tears...but there is the part of me that won't allow it to sink in.

God knows and I know full well I am not perfect and that I have made mistakes and that I will until the day I die...whenever that is...BUT I don't know. Maybe it's that I am almost 34 1/2 years old and have accomplished NOTHING. That I start out with such great promise and it ends in "flames." I can have an event or lesson crash and burn and the sting is there...but not the overwhelming sense of failure that I feel right now.

Even in the midst of the positive stuff that is happening now with Children's Ministry (at least in my view)...I feel like if I don't keep the momentum up...I am out. I can "administrate" until the cows come home, but I am getting to teach this month and that is where I am seeing a glimpse of joy right now.

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