Play...

Play is something that is sorely lacking in my life. I had a college professor who would ask me each week when we met for class (I was the only student) what I was doing for fun. Hmmm...newspaper, radio, sorority, this commitee, that committee, etc. It was "fun," but that was not what he was getting at...he was asking me what I was doing for play. Not a whole lot.

When I was Remuda Ranch in 2000, we had these "Saturday Programs" from 9 until noon. They had some broad topic and one of the therapists would lead the program. It was generally more relaxed than a normal group and was the one time we all did something together rather than in our smaller Home Groups.

One of those programs was on play. I hated it. I found it silly and not worth my time and I felt like an outsider. The beginning...the telling of the importance of play Pam gave us made sense. Many of us there lost the ability to play because of circumstances way beyond our control and haven't been able to get it back. At the end of the "lecture" portion Pam gave us all certificated that were permission to play as adults. Then she brought out the "stuff." Glitter, markers, bubbles, stickers, etc. Unfortunately, I was stuck. I let Amy K. put stickers on my face and think mark it a bit, but I was not getting into it at all.

We moved outside to blow bubbles at which point I just took photos and hung back. Part of me longed to be able to just put my camera down and begin to blow bubbles...but the part of me that says it is silly, immature and that I wasn't there for "that" won out. If the "play" didn't have a purpose...why do it?

I have some adult friends who use the term "come out/over and play." That is so awesome! When I lived in So Cal, they would call me and see if I wanted to come play "Creative Memories" or go out and "play" doing something fun. I did those things and had fun...but I was more than likely the more serious of the people I was with at the time.

I don't know how to get that sense of play back into my life. I do believe that it has to be there and like riding a bike (or horse) you never forget. I just need to be reminded.

In Children's Ministry I have fun...but I don't "play" because I need to make sure the kids are safe when they play. I look at them toss themselves across monkey bars, go up and down the slide with wild abandon, invent new toys from old and at times wonder where that went in me.

Maybe I can re-learn it from the kids I have in my ministry, maybe through the gunk I am doing with Rob twice a week I won't feel it is too late. I want to play and feel silly and have feeling silly be okay.

Maybe I want too much?