Sunday, June 13, 2004

Dizzy Sucks...Fuel Rocks!

So says my dietitian. Due to scheduling conflicts I will not see her until June 30th...4 weeks in between sessions...not my idea of fun. I know I can call and email...but it is NOT the same thing. Anyway, she knows me WAY too well and knows that I will take advantage of us not meeting. I had done that (only for about a 24 hour period if that)and gave in and ate because I was a little dizzy. I emailed her and told her and she told me not to forget our goals and the above quote.

Tomorrow I start a 12 week personal fitness thing at the YMCA. I am doing it because I know without it I WILL overexercise and while part of me doesn't care...the other part wants to be able to exercise like a "normal" person and just enjoy the fact I CAN do these things. I started to be OK with that when I left AZ last year...but then it became burn, burn, burn. Having a trainer to meet with 3-4 times over the 12 weeks will be a good thing. It is computerized so she can keep tabs on what I have done...helps me stay accountable.

Thursday came and went without it being a "blow up/Deneice sucks at therapy" session. We may be past that now. Rob is pushing (in a good way) me harder and my biggest problem is taking what happens in our sessions and not letting it fall apart when I get refrain to him is, "BUT it's MY MOM."

He called her a bitch many times on Thursday...he was trying to prove a point...not saying she IS one...but that some of her actions last week she was BEING one at the time. I know better. He is not fond of her. I get what he was saying and how I don't have to live my life by such a rigid set of rules when it comes to her (and a lot of my life) and how it feeds into my "Top 10."

This is where I hate the work...but enjoy the process and where I have had the most growth before...this time I won't be leaving though...maybe I can push through this time.

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