Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Think, Think, Think....

First off...a big thanks to Mel and Tree as they listened to me babble about this on AIM today!
#1: I was thinking about this at camp over the weekend.

Doing all this back to back stuff is supposed be tiring...I mean...I guess it doesn't have to be...but many of the YS Forumites have talked about being tired after there are events like this all back to back so it's at least not out of the realm of possibility.

And yes, as I hit the 6th month mark of no purging (Thursday? Friday?? don't have the exact date down for that) and 5th month of no cutting (that, I know, is on the 21st)...I still don't get too excited...BUT...it dawned on me that two years ago I would have done all this stuff, worked full time, continued to get ready for Easter "stuff" AND claim that I had energy to burn...meanwhile on my rare Saturday off I wouldn't leave my apartment (when I had it) because I didn't have the energy/strength to leave or even go to the mailbox.

I know it's not that big a deal...but Toni is ALWAYS after me to try and find the little positive things...whether I think it's a big deal or not. And while I realy file this under the heading of "So what?" I'm sure she'll be happy about it tomorrow.

#2 I had a weird dream Sunday night. I won't go into the boring details, but I had a dream that Rob just kind of up and left. No warning, no nothing. I show up in an office that looks like his, the "idiot's" office in Indiana and I think Marc's office. Parts of it are hi and not his. I press the call button and the man who comes to get me is a combo of one of the guys who works at our Presbytery office, "the idiot" and I think Greg...or Rob....or Marc????

I am told Rob is either out of town or away or something and that he arranged for me to see this "person." As I looked around the office it was a combo of his office and some of the others' and it looked as if things were being packed up. None of the toys were around...the ones I have given him and the ones from others, no Frederick or the big bear in the corner...his stuff is no on the walls.

I woke up in tears and was surprised how real it felt and then how silly I felt hving that dream in the first place. When I got to Rob's yesterday I didn't want to talk about camp, or Kids Club or anything else...I WANTED to sit there and cry from relief and just stare at him to make sure he was real. I told him I had a dream and couldn't tell him what face to face...so I emailed it to him! I know...I am a wimp...but at least he knows one way or another.

Having told someone (Mel) and then emailing to him has made me feel a lot better. So much so I am making SPAGHETTI for dinner. Yes...the carb-o-phobe is making PASTA and garlic toast! Call the papers!!!

Okay, this may be because I am at about 50% of my goal for Toni and I figure this will help!

1 comment:

Dreaming again said...