Tuesday, April 12, 2005

As My World Turns...

Let's see...why start with the icky stuff...I'll start with the good stuff!

1. I leave in THREE days! This time on Friday I will on the road probably a bit down I-5!

2. "G" the kid in the pciture I said was great b-ball player will also be down there! His basketball team is playing in a national tourney so I am going to shock him and be at a game!

3. I get to take Frederick with me! I figured Rob wouldn't say no...but it is always a fear. He told me yes yesterday!

4. I get $91 back from my state income tax! Okay...that isn't much...but it is better than nothing or having to owe!

Now the "other" stuff...

1. My mom is home from work on a medical leave until MAY 3rd. She won't talk about what happened...but it was/is depression related because she has seen our MD, her Psych and has had her meds upped. She has been all suicidal talk lately anyway...so this isn't a surprise...but it makes things really hard at home and I have no safe place to be...except Rob's office.

2. I am worried about VBS. I gave us such a late start (*kicks self*) and while I am already getting volunteers...I feel very overwhelmed by it all.

3. I am scared spitless about meeting Forumites next week. I put myself through this every time I go to meet someone and it has ALWAYS been a great time...but my insecurities and anxiety go through the roof until the meeting actually takes place. But, I so can't wait to go to Knott'swith Lisa and at the very least Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf with Dirk.

4. Gas prices are awful!!!

Anyway, I told Rob yesterday that I feel overwhelmed but think I shouldn't because things will be fine while I am gone and my team and volunteers so don't need me around. And I don't think I am worried about me not being here...I was gone a few times last summer and then retreats this year...but I think it is the VBS part that has me all OCD. The rest is fine!

On Thursday I had told him I felt like I am such a whiner in our sessions...I was honestly shocked to learn he would never use that word with me. He told me that he very much cares what is going on in my head and that word would never even enter his mind. That meant soooooo much. He reminded me of that yesterday.

So...off to our calendar meeting in a few minutes and then home to start laundry!


The Thief said...

You'll do great when you meet the forumites. Everyone who has met you loves you. You are such a caring person, and you'll do great! Have a fun time!

Dreaming again said...

I am so jealous of the forumites who get to actually meet you! I hope that you have an absolute blast!

Take care of yourself and give me a full report when you get back!

Most of all D ... ENJOY!!!!

Jeff Stilwell said...

tell all the forumites Jayuff said HEY!!!