Wow...I've gone a whole three days...things have been a little on the busy side, though.

I have my phone assessment with Val on Monday and hope to be on a plane a week later because I caanot possibly be ready to leave Tuesday or Wednesday...not to mention the money transfer and stuff for my grandparent's won't happen until Wednesday. Plus, I don't want to miss my first Easter here...I join the church next week. Kinda weird they are doing it Easter Sunday, but neat too. Of course, I need to figure out how to hide eggs, be at the Pancake Breakfast (fundraiser for our mission trip), meet with Session (all new members do this) and get the video set-up as we have the kids in a "holding room" until it is their turn to hunt eggs. Not to mention I need to go buy the eggs, fill the eggs and get Easter grass for the basket centerpieces.

Also, I need to pick up Fred...and I want my last week of appointments with Toni and Rob. But, I will be lost without Fred!

I think reality is setting in...that and the lamest thoughts such as, "My purging is so much better and I haven't cut in a few weeks...I can live with restricting." Maybe I could...don't think anyone else wants to or wants me to. But, I think some of that is nerves and the reality of the situation:

1. Going to LIFE last time I was behavior free, eating meals, etc. This time I am not.

2. I was only on meal support 2-3 days last time. I can see me being on meal support FOREVER this time beacause to jump from 500 to what is it...1600? 1800? a day seems impossible right now and scares me to death!

3. My kids...I am going to miss them soooo much. I have an awesome group of high school, jr. high and elementary kids and I enjoy being with them a lot, but I am sure I will enjoy them much more when I come back.

Anyway, I have a made of list of stuff to do each day and I did almost all of it for yesterday, but I feel asleep before I could finish and that was before 9:30! Must be from going off the diet pills. Today is Day 3 and I am hating life (not literally...well some...well...you know). I want them yet I know the dangers and I won't buy them again...no point...and since they are all gone, I won't have to worry about finding them in a cabinet or anything.

Forty-five minutes until the New Members Class and then when that is over I need to prep for a high school event. Never a dull moment!