Dropped another two pounds which I have mixed feelings about. I know some of it is due to lack of hydration and I am downing Gatorade as I type. But, I know how long my body can go without food and I have done it before. It's almost like now that I have FINALLY been able to "discipline" myself on the food front that I don't know IF I can turn back...I mean if I am going to freak out over maybe a 1/2-1 oz of roast beef...

Is life going to get better in 12 pounds? No. Is it going to get better in 17? No. Is it going to get better in 21? Nope. Yet I continue to strive for some elusive number that will make it okay to take up space, make it okay to breath the air...make it okay to be alive. But, I also know that in that quest for that elusive number on the scale...I could cease to do all that...and again the mixed feelings.