Friday, July 09, 2004


Toni will be in town and so I will see her during my normal "Rob Time" on the 26th. She tells me "You'll be fine. You are doing so well." Augh...I told her that was debatable but left it at that. If I tell her about the SI she'll have to tell Rob unless I do and quite frankly...I don't WANT to tell him. I'm not in the mood to dissect it, I really don't want to hear how if I do this and then NOT talk about it he won't see me, etc.

Yesterday was really hard. He just didn't get how the news of yesterday shook me to the core. He said I was avoiding just like I did on Monday. Then he left it to me to pick up wherever or to keep avoiding. Fine. I picked up right where we left off last Thursday throwing in the stuff from Monday that wasn't "fluff." I'm still not getting it which is frustrating to me and I hate that I feel I can't cry in there. I know I need to talk to him about that as well...but don't think I can do THAT without bawling.

Eventually, I know I am going to have to tell Rob the truth...but I am in NO hurry.

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