Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I Hate Me...

Last night...when I finally decided to eat something and then chose to get rid of it...it was a weird thought process. I decided that by NOT eating that I was only hurting myself...then I realized I didn't care and I WANTED to hurt myself. The reasons why I am still trying to figure out...but I know some triggers that may have contriubuted to all of it.

I did email Rob and Toni and told them about wanting to hurt myself by purging and will see Rob Thursday and have another week untiI see Toni which stinks...and I am really afraid to face Rob because I need to be able to tell him ALL of it. That is not the worst part. The worst part is he will not yell, he will not hit me, he will not reject me and I really can't take that.

1 comment:

utech said...

Deneice, I have been reading for some time now. While I don't fully understand what you are going through I do aleast understand a part of it as I have suffered with depression (major and bi-polar). I encourage you to be honest with Rob about what is going on and know that someone out here is praying for you on a regular basis.