Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Feelings...Nothing More Than....

WILLOW: Hey! Buffy, you're mad!

BUFFY: You noticed. It'll pass.

WILLOW: No! Anger ... is a big, powerful emotion you should feel.

BUFFY: Well ... that's good then. It's gone now.

WILLOW: Okay ... uh, let me make you mad again. Uh ... ready? Um ... Last semester, I slept with Riley.

BUFFY: And you know I really doubt it.

WILLOW: Caught me. Big fib. To ... cover up the sleazy affair I had with Angel.

BUFFY: Will ... what the hell are you doing?

WILLOW: Pissing you off.

BUFFY: Yes, true. Why?

WILLOW: Well, 'cause, you know, since you've ... been back, you haven't exactly been big with ... the whole range of human emotions thing.


In the last few week I very much feel like I have not been "big with the whole range of human emotions thing." There are things I SHOULD have feelings about. Last week I had a bagel for the first time in over 2 years. I am going to watch "my Angels" pound the A's tonight. My grandfather came home safely last night...and I am pretty much "eh" about everything. This is not a good place for me to do because I know where it can lead.

The problem? Not really caring. I must care because it bugs me, because I am more than willing to admit it, because I know I can't go back down that road again...but how do I feel about it? "Eh."


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