Looks like mom and I are on for a day in SF tomorrow. This means I need to either go to the gym today (and even in my warped state of mind I know that I need to let my body rest and we WILL be doing a lot of walking tomorrow if I have any say in the matter) or wait until Monday. I think I would do more harm than good by going today...the soreness I can deal with and that's part of the package since it has been a long while since I did that much exercise...the exhaustion on the other hand...I could go home and sleep until tomorrow if given the chance.
I would love to talk my mom into Alcatraz or a bay cruise...but that so isn't her. I'd like to drag her to the Aquarium but yet again...not her deal. So, I guess we'll walk Pier 39, the Wharf and up to Ghiradelli Square, etc. If I can get her on a cable car we can go to Union Square. This time I am staying away from the crab on the wharf. Toni is pretty sure that is what made sick the night I was up there. I think we are going to wind up at the Rainforest Cafe which I can deal with ok.
I dragged the scale out last night. I think I am going to put it right back where I had it. I actually forgot where I put it and almost gave up...then I realized it was probably in a drawer. Bingo! It's odd because I want to lose weight...but seeing how relatively "easy" it has been to lose three pounds in the last 4 days...probably not a great thing to know because I start playing games in my head on how I can avoid eating, how to try and convince my mom I had eaten when I haven't, etc.
In saner moments this morning and knowing all I know about EDs...I am trying to figure out what is really going on. What is going through my head is that all this stuff is just "symptoms" of whatever else is really going on. However, all I am seeing now is this huge black hole.
Anyway, so I am trying to stick with the saner parts of my thoughts so I can function. I have all my prep. work done for Sunday and I have my small group tonight so I can go to SF tomorrow and not have to worry that Sunday morning I have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off!
No comments:
Post a Comment