Day ONE...

I keep trying to post pix and it's not working...even with high speed wi-fi. I have some "before" pix as we were getting ready and wanted to do "after" pix as we beginng with the 1st General Session tomorrow.

Today was the first day in HQ and we answered questions, ran a few errands and gave out a TON of candy. The stupid little ED voice rejoices in the fact that as EVERYONE (and I do mean everyone....even Marko who ate my Smarties...I wouldn't have eaten them anyway) was munching on chocolate and Red Vines...I would not allow myself as much as a Tootsie Roll...or much of anything else. I had about 1/4 of a small bag of trail mix, two gum balls (from the Remuda Ranch booth no less!) and a just had a granola bar. I feel like I have done nothing but eat sinceI got here and since I sit, it makes it harder to convince myself that since I am no longer lugging hundreds of pounds worth of books, that I still need to eat.

The best thing was actually having a Remuda Ranch staff person to process my thinking with. We talked about that even thought I am so glad I am here and am really feeling "good" stress...stress is stress and my body is doing what it always does...shuts down my hunger center and goes into focus/perfection mode which means I don't feel hunger cues. I am here to do a job (one I have been waiting to do for YEARS mind you) and nothing is going to prevent me from being the best I can be...that usually means no food because that takes time away from the task at hand.

Then there is the stupid little power trip my head goes on because others needed to go eat and I was fine (scary thing is...I really AM doing fine) with nothing. It's a control issue for sure. I can control my food and that "helps" me control what I need to in my little area...until someone is asking me a question and then two other people on either side also asks me a question and my brian just stops.

I need to force myself to eat...no matter what and allow myself a Tootsie Pop if I want one!