ONE YEAR PURGE FREE!!!!
I am excited...but I also know that while my behaviors have been brought under control and I know the "whys" of the urges at times...there is a long way to go. Most of the behavior stuff has been quelled by sheer willpower. I really see that over the past few weeks as I have been back to the gym.
Yesterday I walked in and Rob says, "Still friends?" My first thought was to remind him that we are NOT friends and he knows it bothers me. But, under the circumstances, I let it slide. I also arrived with a 1/2 dozen homemade brownies. I know I didn't have to, I know I really didn't do anything wrong...but I still felt bad for raising my voice to him. He always asks if he could have one right away. Like I would say no. He took one bite and told me I missed my calling. Heck, I am glad there are a few people I can bake for.
For those who read this...if I have one prayer request...it would be that I can see me as God sees me. Not as my mother sees me, not as I see me (because of how my mother sees me)...but that what I know in my head to be true I can absorb into my heart.
1 comment:
I'm praying that you can get a glimpse of just how much God loves you, a love that's not motivated by anything other than love, a love that doesn't shrink if you fall back into bad life patterns, a love that doesn't magically grow with your good choices, a love that is incredible no matter what.
And that you could see what the rest of us see, that you're an incredible person with all sorts of wonderful gifts.
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