Wow...I am not so good at keeping this up am I? Too busy hewlping out with a post on the YS board!

Hmmm...well I am back at my place...it's quiet and a little lonely...but I am reading...a lot. Fun books for the most part...but it's goof distraction. I also need to get the hours of the public pool a few blocks from my house. My inactivity is killing me. I also need to get the tires on my bike blown up for some evening rides. As soon as I get paid I am joining a clun though because nothing is better than the eliptical machine.

I have had three meals in a row that have been incomplete...but Tini isn't concerned yet. She is going to let Rob know as well so he can be sure to press me on it as she leaves for vacation on Thursday. He asks me all the time now anyway. I have my menu for dinner so I plan to get back on track. I am also going to see Rob again this week....even though I really can't afford to. Too much emotional pain, grieving of losses going on to NOT see him. I can't totally identify what I am feeling or how I felt yesterday after our session...but it hurts. How did I put it to him on the phone? "I really want to go home and cut because I'd rather feel the physical pain than whatever I am feeling right now because it isn't good." I also faxed him my challenges to the emotional myths I believe so we can tackle those as well. Not sure how much he buys into this whole DBT stuff. Hey...it's keeping safe and relatively on plan...so it must have some merit!

Then there is my job. Our Office Manager is retiring and though she is still a member of our church, I will miss seeing her each day. I am back at work a little too soon, but I found some pleasure in my job today. I just need to be able to keep it up. I came up with aneat idea and our Pastor was excited. He said he knows youth is my passion and he hopes that will transfer to Children's Ministry. Me too.

My Mentor and his family leave to move back to SoCal on Thursday. Well...Ron has been up and down the coast since April...but the rest of the family will be making the move on Thursday. We always stay in contact...but it's still a loss I wish hadn't happened quite yet...I haven't been home that long. Gives me a great excuse to get to SoCal in the fall at any rate...or at least before Christmas.

Anyway, that's about it. I am working on this recovery thing and as Toni pointed out...with the overwhelming stress of a diminished job, maybe losing my apartment, my financial situation, etc. I am dealing with it pretty well. This would have buried me three months ago.