Thursday, January 22, 2004

It'd Been Days!!!

The title just came to me as I realized it's has been days since I sat down to write anything. I can't remember how "It'd Been Days," came about...but it was "thing" some of my friends and I used in college for who knows what anymore!

Today was another "blah" session with Rob. Not quite sure why either. I was just not going in really wanting to to do the spill my guts thing. I know he doesn't believe me...but I just feel "there." Not partiuclarly happy and yet not especailly sad or depressed...just there.

He is happy that I haven't purged in almost a month and I haven't cut in a week or so I think. I don't see it as any big deal...I guess because the urges are there and while I am able to distract and use some of my skills to make it through...I don't spend a whole lot of time trying to figure out the whys.

I didn't mean to sidetrack him from the sexual abuse issue...but I did which was fine with me. I knew it was coming today and I just didn't feel like jumping into that pool today...I'm too much on edge with the Provigil. Thinking about it makes me want to cut!

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