Today I totally frustrated him...not on purpose...but I did anyway. I don't know why it is so hard for him to get that I am pretty NUMB. I laugh at the right times, I look annoyed, sad, etc. when I "should," but I don't have the feeling behind it. His reaction. "I don't buy that." Then I just quit talking because I don't know what else to say. Sigh...
I told him that I feel lazy, bad, need to be punished, etc. for my inability to go to work some days. Then he said something about the Bible...maybe what would God say about me not going to work. I dunno. Then I pointed out that there are several verses that say being lazy is BAD. I emailed them to him today. So, being bad I have to "punish" myself which means I cut because I have to keep myself in line and then it goes downhill from there.
Someday it will all be over and that day cannot come fast enough!
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