My doctor will not refill any of my meds until I go see him again. So, time to shell out more money to go see him and get all my scripts as well as a new one for Provigil. I need to go back on it if I hope to be able to make it through a day of work. I am beginning to sleep through the night, but it is so not enough...not even close. The Provigil helps with that.
Downside: MAJOR anxiety when I first take it...like hour long panic attacks. After two weeks of that I'll be fine.
I spoke to the YP. He and his family live about 20 houses from me if that. I'll know more in two weeks. It pays $2,000 more a year. I'd so trade that for health insurance...but oh well! It won't mean I get to move (obviously) but it may give me a bit more breathing room.
Rob apologized for not really acknowledging that for me it does feel like this is in vain and that I'll never work with youth again and we talked about why I feel that way and it was good. The high school ski trip is this weekend and I am "dying" because I'm not going to be there.
Things still seem incredibly bleak and the feelings have not gone away to "do it." But, he seems to think it has passed and so I think I'll let him live in that reality.
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