Friday, May 21, 2004


No, not the city...but I think I hit upon something yesterday. Rob and I were talking about the whole "unanswered questions" I have with the whole Marc thing. I do know I will never have the answers and need to come to terms with that. Rob thinks even if I had the answers it doesn't make a huge difference in the long run. That's fair. I don't agree...but it's a fair statement. He also said there is something deeper and that I may be using the questions from keeping me to dig into what it really is that gets to me about this whole thing.

I hit upon it last night. I was reading the letter Marc gave to me our last session. It is one word that no one had ever used before and has never been used since. Toward the end of the letter Marc saked me to not give up, to pray, to ask for help, etc. because I was "too valuable for anything less than this." I think some of the pain comes from the one person in my life who actually saw value and me...and that was taken away.

I need to "ponder" more...

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