Monday, May 17, 2004

Four Years Ago Today...

My former therapist gave me this letter at our last session:


You have often expressed yourself through writing and, well, it’s my turn to leave you with some thoughts on paper also. This has been a long and difficult journey for you. You have allowed me into some very deep and painful places in your life, and I have felt it both and I have felt it both an honor and a privilege to be there with you.

Deneice, you are truly a creation of a loving God. He has knit you together, by His design, and He knows you and loves you. In the midst of your struggles, He seeks you out as a shepherd who has lost a sheep. No, the others are not enough. He wants you, Deneice Fujii, You are absolutely no mistake -- you are here for a reason.

I will miss you as out time has come to a close. Deneice, as I have done numerous times, I will pray for you and entrust you to God’s care and to Linda. My hope for you is that you will continue on in your growing. Yes, I know you are probably disagreeing with what I am saying right now. =) Yet you know that, in our therapy time, I have seen some of the most vulnerable parts of your emotional world and yet I care very much about you. I am confident that if you keep getting more of what you need to heal, you will begin to see yourself more as a treasure of God’s creation (as He really see you).

I know my leaving is so difficult for you—you have told me and I have heard you. I hope you are able to continue to hold un to what we have begun together and let others help you through your pain inside.

DO NOT GIVE UP, DENEICE. Pray, ask for support and carry on. You are too valuable for anything less than this.

Today I miss him...I miss him and I am shooting myself in the foot because I couldn't let Rob intoit. I talked through it and around it...but I couldn't let him in. I need to...I need to find a way...

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