Argh...I had posted and I don' know what happened...but it's gone!

So, I will try and begin again.

Yesterdays session was incredibly hard, incredibly draining so I guess it went well! After talking about me having to move we literally picked up right where I left off on Monday...the "blow by blow" account of exactly what happened and all that "fun" stuff. I have never had trouble talking about it before...but I think it was hard this time because I am NOT numb and so it makes it more difficult.

I am going through the story and could see it like a movie projected on the window. I am still amazed how much detail I can recall. The weather, the conversation, what had happened prior to going outside, what I was wearing, etc. Sometimes I wish my memory was a little fuzzy.

He ALMOST had me in tears...I mean I was almost ready to cry about the whole thing, but I shut down instead. We talked about that and how I do that to keep in control...Rob pointed out that in doing that...it doesn't bring healing and if I end up a crying puddle (my words...not his) that is probably a GOOD thing. I was so close...he said something that caused this gut reaction in me that I don't even remember now...and maybe the tears will come...maybe I will allow them to come.

When I finally got home, I slept for like 2 1/2 hours...I was emotionally exhausted after that session.

This weekend I will beging to take some stuff to my mom's house and try to stack stuff neatly because she hasn't done much about getting her stuff out of there. But, if I can make a dent I will be happy.