What a session...

We talked about the SI and how I need to be more careful because the cuts are getting a little deeper and I can't afford to have to get stitches...literally as I have no insurance. Then he asked me if I was suicidal. Okay...I skirted around that one. I mean no I'm not, but I am in the midst of a major depressive episode and so my plan is always there. Okay, I should have told him that...but then he cracked a joke and well...it broke the mood.

He makes changng the way I think about myself should be so easy to change and it's not. I mean I KNOW I am a beloved child of God and He loves me lots...but at my core...that is NOT how I see myself. Thank God no one can see my stomach...I am getting quite adept to cutting words into it. I hate my body.