I Hate the Night!

I don't know what happens to me at night...too much quiet...too much of my head spinning...too much...too much...too much!

I cut last night and it looks icky. I called Rob and left a message that I wanted to, but I was trying to distract (while I was online) and then I was going to set the timer and read and try to relax and ride the urge out. I started out with 20 minutes and then went to an hour...it didn't do any good.

So, I call him and let him know I did...he's not going to be happy. But, as he didn't call me back in that hour span...I am really glad that it was only cutting because had it been anything else I would have taken his non-response personally and...look...I KNOW better...but I think I keep waiting for him to reject me for real.

I don't want to be here...I want to be at home sleeping and getting ready for Washington. My craft idea crashed and burned (who knew that in three stores I couldn't find Ivory Snow???) so I need to try and think of something else between now and 10:45. However, I did get my final reimbursement check for the year and I am thrilled...I need it!