A new week...a new chance to try and figure out why I'd rather die than live and another week where Rob has no peace because I'm still 80% determined. I suppose I could lie to him to get him off my back...but I think he knows me better than that by now. Besides, how can I have a mind change that quickly. I told him I needed a new plan because I told him my other one.

He asked me what has to happen for my plan to be squelched. I don't have an answer. I am hoping my trip to Washington will just give me some perspective. At least he knows I will be safe there. I need to tell my mom I am going...but I can't wait!