Today I received my "Buffy" Advent Calendar. No matter how rotten things are I am thankful I can find one small thing to make me smile...even if it something as simple as that.

To tell you the truth, I really believe you know you could be sharing more w/ me - not just facts, not just reporting to me - but really sharing more - more deeply of your feelings especially - I really believe and feel you know what I mean here...

I don't know how...I really don't. Do I want to? Yes! But I don't know HOW...

He continues to remind me time is ticking but does he expect me to just "snap out of it?" If I could I would...but there is a peace with this deicison. I am not needed nor wanted and I am tired...