I guess I should think of something POSITIVE in all this. Only thing I can really think of is that the diet pills have not yet been opened...they are still in the bag, in their box in my kitchen. Part of me thinks that since they don't have ephedra in them they are okay. Obviously I am not convinced as I have not taken them yet.

I need to quit comparing my experience to others. But, I have felt for the last 21 years and continue to feel that I have no "right" to feel the way I do because I got away before anything else could happen. The scary part is that if I hadn't gotten away...all the adults were drunk enough that no one would have come looking for me and he could have gotten away with it for years...if "that" would have happened...I probably never would have told anyone ever. God was so with me...even though I didn't know Him yet...because I was able to get away and in the end...this drove me to Him.

I am trying to stay out of my apartment right now. I threw more stuff out and packed pantry stuff to take over to my mom's house tomorrow and brought my mini-fridge here to the office. I can keep fruit and bottled water in it. Stupid thoughts keep going through my head and so this the safest place to be.