The move is almost complete and though I am not thrilled having to live with my mom...after last night I am so glad I will be out soon. First there was "limo guy," but I was able to blow him off pretty quickly. Now there is "creepy neighbor guy." I thought I got rid of him the FIRST time I toldhim I was moving. As I was taking garbage out last night...he stopped me and asked me about the moving thing. I hope he sees Jose's truck come get my "big stuff" Monday morning.

I took a bunch of stuff over...am getting unsentimental about someitems and am shoving other things in boxes because I want the items...just no room for them in one bedroom. I cleaned out my freezer and moved its contents to my mom's house and all my pots and pans. I can get by if I split the rest of the week between my apartment and my mom's house. Right now both living areas are a mess! But, it will give me something to do when my mom starts driving me nuts!

So, here I am days before my 34th birthday and I want nothing more than a stuffed dog. I think what gets me is I am going to be THIRTY FOUR years old and my family has NO clue what to get me. I got a $50.00 check from my grandparents and will probably get $25.00 from my mom. Like that takes a lot of thought. It drives me nuts! Oh...and I think we are celebrating on Monday with PIZZA! Ugh...HELLO!!! Anyone want to ask ME if I am okay with pizza? Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! On my actual b-day Bill and Kim are taking me out to dinner. At least it will be relaxing!

Okay, I need ton take a picture of the garage at my mom's, get an iced non-fat white mocha and head home in time for Game 6. I want Rob to see the garage when I yet again describe everything in detail.

I think I am really getting to the point where I am not blaming myself as much. There will be much rejoicing in his office on Monday. But even when In get passed that it could NOT be an innocent 12 year olds fault...there is still the feelings and the flashbacks and the still being able to feel (physically) all of it. Rob can tell because of how I start acting when the "film" starts rolling.

Someday this will all be over and I know that...it's just holding on until it is...God give me the strength to keep the fight!